Try refreshing the page to ensure you are enjoying the latest version. I tend to make endless edits and corrections over time. Forgive the sometimes off-topic nature of my blog these days. Walking and enjoying the countryside are vital to my physical and psychological fitness and sense of well-being. They combine to undo the damage caused by an occasional excess of cycling. And, may even stave off another rant! Though I can't promise anything. My long-suffering wife, "The Head Gardener," refers to me as the Imelda Marcos of saddles and saddlebags. She is usually right about almost everything. So it may well be true.


29 Aug 2016

29th August 2016 The iRottenApple iRat 7? ®

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Monday 29th 60-63F, 16-17C, heavy overcast with light winds building to 15m/s or 30mph. Early showers clearing to some sunshine later.I stayed dry while I looped out over the stubble prairie in front of the woods. The wind was strong enough to feel slightly too cool. Large areas of the harvested fields are already raked or ploughed and inaccessible. So I am making the most of the freedom to roam before it all becomes sticky, bare soil.

The ducks were in a jolly mood on the marsh pond. Just after that I spotted a young deer with two tall spikes for horns hiding in long grass. He stayed perfectly still as I wasted time trying to separate him from the tall grass and nettles with my camera. It was never going to be a great picture. The eye is far more forgiving of foreground obstructions. Now it has brightened up to sunshine but the wind is even stronger. Was busy working on a project in the garden so another rest day. It only reached 67F but it felt more like 90F in the blinding sunshine.

Tuesday 30th 55F, 13C, dead calm again and the earlier, heavy overcast has already cleared to blue skies and fluffy clouds. It will be windy later on. Danish motorists must be eagerly looking forward to the imminent release of the iSlave 7. Chatting and sexting [sic] behind the wheel with the latest offering from iRottenApple is a popular pastime on local roads. Somebody clever ought to have offered "genuine" clips by now so iSlavetablets can be clipped to the steering wheel. Now that really would be Hands Free! Perhaps iRottenApple should offer a round model "iRat" ® specially for busy Danish drivers? For those not familiar with modern Danish rat means "steering wheel."

I hear that nice Mrs Vestager has been putting her years of well-honed practice on taxing the poorer Danes to good use. iRottenApple is about to be stung by a colossal tax demand by the EU for illegal money laundering tax  evasion avoidance US/EU subsidy of a private US company in iReland. With iSlave sales falling through the [vault] floor [where they keep their $153,000,000,000 bank deposit in unpaid Asian (living) wages] iRottenApple might like to make me a decent offer for my patented and registered round steering wheel 'rablet' idea. You know where to reach me. I'll be the only one not using an iSlave. Strictly on moral and technological grounds. I hear they have crap aerials so they would be utterly useless around here. I wonder if all those drivers using their iPhoneys are simply trying to get reception by constantly driving around with their one good eye on signal level? Can we now blame iRottenApple for global warming too?

My walk took place almost entirely on stubble as I enjoyed another route opened up my inability to do any damage. The moment I stepped into the bare fields three deer looked up. But not at me. They were looking at the nearby road. Which they had studiously ignored until my arrival. I don't know who was more confused but I'm getting used to this sort of thing. Another clearly marked bird of prey went over. I'm sticking with Marsh harrier for the moment as an undersized Red kite. Don't quote me though.

Rode to Assens for a change. Haven't been there for ages. Straight into a headwind with variable cloud cover. The high street cobbles were rougher than  I remember. One of a bunch of bikers wandering about on foot admired my trike. He said "nice bike" in English but then swapped back to his native language to chat with his mates. Beneficial wind on the way back. Should have taken a drink because I was parched on the way back. 20 miles.

Wednesday 31st 55F, 13C, bright sunshine and dead calm with low mist over the fields. I wonder if I'm allowed out to boost my August mileage? Last chance today. Still using the stubble fields for my walks. Ten days after the terrorist murder of a German woman on the motorway near Odense the police report the slabs were stolen from an Odense building site. The murdered woman's husband remains critical in a coma. 


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